• "Today's Silliness" Archives
• "FlyinHyjinks" Blog
• MySpace
• Photos

Kids say the darnedest things: this page is to record the hilarious sayings of my preschooler for posterity. I call these quotes "Ianisms" in tribute to my youngest son, who has made for some of the funniest things I've ever heard.

Submit a Child's Quote!

When children stop asking questions, it's time for parents to ask their own.
~Leonid S. Sukhorukov from All About Everything

Ianisms

"oh, DUDE!!!!" (--his reaction to the smell upon my opening a diaper containing a large poop...)

"But, Daddy! I'm the only kid who likes you!" (arguing in favor of being taken to the store)

"I'm a Jumping Bean because when I jump up and down on my Mommy and Daddy's bed all naked, my penis jumps up and down all by itself, and that's soooooo funny. You should try that!" (to the Edgewood Borough manager...)

"Fletcher can't play Xbox because he doesn't have a puppy-controller. He can't use my controller because he doesn't have thumbs."

"I wanna be Luke Skywalker. Simon can be Han Solo. Annie can be Princess Leia. Do you want to be Waka the Cookie or Plumpy the Butt?" (8/9/07)

"Do planes come out of your vagina, too?" (8/8/07)

"Perfesser Snake isn't really a snake. He has feet. And he points his wand on Harry Potter and says, WINGARDIUM RAVIOLI!"

"When I grow up bigger than my Daddy, I will take him to the store with me and make HIM ride in the cart while I buy all the pizza sauce and chockamoo."

"After I was being born, I cried because I left my toothpaste inside of Mommy. So I had to get a teeny tiny flashlight and go back inside of Mommy and find my toothpaste somewhere down there. Then I came back out and said, hello, Mommy! Hello, Daddy!"

"I love your hair, Mommy. The pretty white ones are my favorite!"

"I'm going to take one of your quilt books into the potty with me and read it when i'm constipated."

"But I don't want to be a minion! I want to be the evil overlord!"

"(The dog) has fur. I have fur on my head. Daddy has fur in his armpits. You have fur in your underpants."

"Mommy! Are you making poop? YOU CAN DO IT! Do you need my help? Push, Mommy, push that poopy out! Push it out and I will give you a gold star and Daddy will let you have some ice cream!"

"If I ask my Daddy, maybe he can buy you a penis at the store!"

"Mommy! You don't have any shoes on! You can borrow mine!"